silveries

i really am not sure about the translation of the title post.. but as long as i understand and maybe other people who knows german language understands it too..

and yes.. as the title says it all… danke mein Freund for calling me up and hearing my groggy voice.. and asked how am i .. essentially it’s good to hear from a friend.. as the ones i dot on tkder plak tanya khabar.. hmm.. bz kot..

and yesterday i got an idea that might just work for my thesis.. and all the thanks goes to him.. even though i’ve thought about what he suggested but there were a few flaws i need to cover and think of a solution to cover that up… all the while i was thinking subconsciously about it.. and yesterday i kinda thought about something which is .. yess… that might just work.. i;m just gonna call up my prof and ask her opinion.. if she said it can be done.. i;ll just go ahead with it.. and maybe.. just maybe i can twist it around and made it into something new.. hahaa.. what a way of thinking.. but it sure got me geared up yesterday.. even though i was really tired and sleepy.. in fact i’m still tired and sleepy.. oohh.. just a footnote.. i;m in the office.. now as a freelancer after the other company retrenched me.. yupp.. i said now.. retrenched! it’s okay i guess.. at first yes, i was frustrated.. i cried.. and yeah.. it was like shit and hell.. but my family was there and a few friends were there also.. and with that support.. i got through minimally.. i still feel quite agitated whenever people bring up the retrenchment thingy in the office.. and whenever work came up pilling.. because i felt so used.. heh.. i guess i am.. ok.. enoughh about that.. dun want to feel all sedih-sedih.. just have to think positive and always remember what my mum and a friend said.. “ader hikmah semua ni.. byk bersabar”.. iooo.. i just love them so much!

ahhaha.. i have a few plans ahead of me.. and am going to do it.. yess.. am going to be in a crowd of people with motar boards and the only tears i would have will only be happy tears! i realize that when i went to my bro’s konvo at uia.. and that feeling… it all really came back to me.. and I WANT TO BE IN THERE AGAIN!

so many thank you’s to my dear friend.. i know i think it’s been hard having me as a friend because i tend to be clingy and over-close to a person especially when i trust and confide in that person.. whoever it may be..

and to my family.. a zillion thanks because i know it’s really hard to please me as a daughter and a big sister.. oohh.. the pressure! did i mention i always wanted a big bro when i was little? ahaha.. some wish i had.. and actully.. i still wish for it.. ahaha.. i was damn nakal masa kecik.. people wouldn’t say that i’m a teacher’s daughter with my attitude.. always getting into trouble.. always getting scraps and stitches to patch me up.. but i learn the hard way.. and not regretting it now… those are memories!..

ces’t la vie everyone!

ironic as it seem.. yes.. i lurvee this bleach movie (same with the others).. it has the same title as metalica’s song.. fade to black..

okay.. i didn’t expect anything before watching this movie.. so i watched it while i was getting ready to go to work (seriously, i do this every morning; considering what my mood is).. so at first it was okay.. saw Hitsugaya, my FAVOURITE dearest captain.. ahahah.. can’t  help it he’s cute! and with spiky hair and colddddd attitude too.. noted this was a day before my birthday.. somehow after that i know it’s going to be a really sad day..

the first part of the movie was cool.. with the two siblings suddenly attacking sereitei to bits.. then the second part came in.. people forgot each other.. and had somekind of amnesia or something because of the hollow (those watch bleach. u know).. *hollow is a spirit who didn’t make it to the other side and becomes evil.. shirt term.. a bad a** spirit.. there u have it.. now i;’m stuck with the movie and i;m seriously LATE for work.. ahhaha.. i did make it until ichigo went to Soul Society and was looking for Rukia.. sometimes i wish i have powers like that..

okay.. continue tomorrow la ek..

“Sparks fly when you and a fellow kindred intellect meet up and connect.”

Huh? oo yeahh.. “roll eyes” .. whatever that means.. sparks of confusion i guess.. whaha.. seriously in need of ZzzZZZZzzz rite now..

daa.. ~

i don’t have 8 hands!!!!!!! i’m not an octopussssss!!!! i’m a normal human being with a pair of hands, a pair of legs, 1 brain, 1 head!

dun come running to us whenever there’s work piled up that is urs to do!

We want a peaceful Hari Raya! susah sangat ke?? sheeshh..

“Go out with some good buddies you haven’t seen for a while. You miss them!”

Yes I do miss them! urghh.. not feeling well now..  just wanna go to sleep for a long time..

“Tak perlu mencari teman secantik Balqis, andai diri tak sehebat Sulaiman. Mengapa mengharapkan teman setampan Yusof jika kasih tak setulus Zulaikha. Tak perlu mengharapkan teman seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tak sekuat Siti Hajar dan mengapa didambakan teman hidup bak Siti Khadijah kalau diri tak sesempurna Rasulullah (S.A.W). Bimbinglah dirinya, dan terimalah kekurangan itu sebagai keunikan, carilah kebaikan pada dirinya, dan bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan dengannya. Tetaplah berdoa pada Tuhan agar dia akan terus menjadi milikmu..”

I’m not sure who wrote this, but it is encript with the wedding card i got from Cyber (the groom). Even if this lovely paragraph is his doing, i’m not a bit surprise.. The wedding card is the most poetic card i’ve received and seriously make me realize something..
another saying in the card states “Cinta dapat mengubah debu beralih emas, keruh menjadi bening, sakit menjadi sembuh, derita menjadi nikmat, dan kemarahan menjadi rahmat”

Sweet! Suka sangat!

The wedding was lovely. The bride and groom are lovely and i get to meet ol’ time frens! for old time sake, ntah aper aper jer la reza kenakan! bebudak lain tak jumpa.. yg ader ju, elma, labu, nasir & wife, bali & wife, bomba & his bro, teleng, dela, kechik and reza.

yeah, i cried again yesterday.. ahaha.. tp series legaaaaa.. then cam merapu2 sikit dgn fatin..

i think i owe someone an apology.. so when it’s ok, i’ll go and settle it, kay? dun want to lose a friend.. a very dear friend..

eh.. nk balik.. mata dah ngantuk.. huhuh.. 

daaa..

“Pain you experienced recently is fading. Keep moving and leave the past behind.”

whoaa… hahaha.. it’s fun to think that all of this are just coincedences.. nah.. i dun think the pain’s fading away.. it’s still there.. it’s just hibernating.. but i;m keeping myself on the move and leaving the past.. but it still remains..

yesterday was a blunder! ahahah and fun too! ISHH.. since working here and get and learn the way of how these people work, i learn a lot.. both good and the bad.. and seriously, there are some ‘bad’ things that i’ve followed.. like.. ermm.. sarcasm.. snapping.. well.. not that bad.. but hey, you can say i’m still an amature to these things.. coz in my previous work starting KEC to EV.. it was the BEST and FUN and HILLARIOUS! the people are fun to be with, and always talk and advice and make jokes together.. not like now.. talking behind people’s back (major bummer), no privacy (hate this), making up stories (geramnyerrrr), show off (jgn la perasan sangat), telling people off by using other people (cowards!) and the list goes on…. that’s why i dun have the interest or semangat to go to the office.. people always putar belit things..

oohh.. ya.. about yesterday.. heheh.. well.. at first it was an accident.. i didn;t think what i said was loud enough for those at the back to hear.. but at lunch, my colleague told me she was actually happy when she heard what i said.. then i realize i spoke too loud.. not intentionally at first.. but then, on second thought, just let it be lah.. if people heard what i said and felt hurt or terasa about it.. then so be it.. like the Malay proverb “saper makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya”.. which means, those who eat chillies, he/she will feel the irritably hot and spicy.. i dun even know whether this translation is right or wrong.. but i think it’s understandable..

heheh.. cioa senior and senioritas!

Memory is the personal journalism of the soul - Richard Schickel

i truly agree with this notion!… my head is filled with memories; past and present. well.. i can;t see the future but i can plan my future.. with Gods will.. that is why photography and writing can be a pleasant thing for me to do.. memories can be captured in stills and writings.. in pictures we can see the happiness and sadness and everything that relates on that day itself. sumtimes we dun need a picture of a person to make us remember, just a fragment or a scene on that particular event or place; try it! it makes me smile a lot!

i don;t deny a picture of memory can also be painful.. that;s why mine is locked up way at the back, so it couldn;t come and make me remember.. wel.. sumtimes it got loose.. and yeah.. sumtimes it’s just there to make you realize that you’re still alive and gone through what you considered to be painful..
put your head up high and smile!

ok.. so here i am.. all lazy to go to work.. well. .. there’s a reason for that.. yesterday two of my fren’s went for the part time thingy at my ofis.. and well, guess what.. i would say they got bullied! WTF???? they called me up saying they want to go home already.. so i asked one of my ofismate to look them up .. but then i got another call from my fren saying these two bi***** wouldn;t want to let them go.. hmm.. go figure! damn selfish.. in the end, they went home at 6 pm.. bummer.. i wished i was there.. but i got my tooth pulled out.. ader hikmah la kot.. maner la tau kan tetiba aku leh gaduh besar dgn ofismate aku plak kan.. and i thought that was settled la yesterday.. so today… with a very laazy and heavy heart and soul.. i went to the office.. i figured maybe i can help a bit la kan.. as usual… but then when i arrived there.. hmm.. some of the people are already there (which i dun care).. so i went to my desk and opened my email.. and realized i haven;t finished one work i left off last friday.. so i quickly finished it off while at the same time watching.. (actually listening) to Harper’s Island (cool series though).. by 1.30 pm.. i;ve finished the work.. i emailed it back to the respective person.. then.. it all went blank.. it;s like no one knows or even see me exist there.. zaid eventually came and ask me about yesterday.. and i just tell him the basic stuff.. then they went to lunch.. i didn;t follow.. no mood, no appetite and i’m keeping my tooth a care for now..

i noticed they were all acting so busy.. i dun even know what the busy-ness is all about.. so i kept to myself.. i kept quiet and i did my project paper for a bit while listening to some anime on youtube… then this one person came to me and ask,’faredah, sure you got no choice with you aar?’.. i didn;t even look and just answered,’nope’.. coldly.. around 3-ish i went for zohor and i was feeling a bit calm, considering what happen last friday.. around 3.30-ish i went up and chat with epah and wanie for a bit (they were doing work which was not theirs to begin with).. chit chat for a while.. then i continue doing my project paper.. looking up resources.. then i noticed it was getting dark outside.. and i figured it;s going to rain.. so i decided to pack up.. while doing that, i managed to order myself two EP’s and after doing so, i packed up.. and as i was leaving.. pushing my chair to the desk.. sumthing absurd happen! how DARE he said i didn;t help anything????! HAH! seriously that situation can be turned into a drama if i hadn;t keep my cool! (berlagak la plak)..

Ridiculous scene:
Person A: faredah, going back ah?
(Person B is looking up at me)
Little ol’ me: a;ah.. going back la.. (didn;t realize the feedback she;s going to get is the worst ever)
Person A: you didn’t help anything..
Little ol’ me: (shocked with what she hears, cursing inside and looking at Person B) tak tau la.. tkder org kasik i keje pun.. i tgk yg lain jer yg buat.. (replied back with ice and knives)

then Little ol’ me was feeling a 0.5% guilty.. thinking she was being rude (the hell, he started it first!).. so little ol’ me ask..

Little Ol’ me: ader lagik ke keje nk kene buat? key in ke? kalau ader i bole jer buat.. bole jer tolong.. (and straight away look at Person C. Person C shakes his head, indicating the work is finished).

Person A: ok ok.. tkpe.. bole balik..

OMG!!!! i couldln’t believe i was keeping my cool at the same time speak up to defend myself! fuihhh! but seriously.. mmg nk kene maki la masa tu kan.. ko jugak yg suruh aku dtg last friday.. tp last2 biler aku dtg.. tak kasik aku keje.. tak assign aper aper kat aku! tetiba ko plak nk kater aku tak tolong????!!!!! mmg la bull****! abih tu selama ni yg aku dok terkejar saner terkejar sini tu.. bukan menolong ke nama nyer.. sheeeesshh!

end of story.. tq for reading